


once is a tragedy

by roastedsunflowerseeds



Category: Can't stop me from tagging it even if it isn't official, Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Acceptance, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Bittersweet, Character Study, Forgiveness, Hopeful Ending, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I started really angsty and ended in a weird mood, Might be OOC I'm sorry, Post-Doomsday, Short & Sweet, somewhat beta-read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28996461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roastedsunflowerseeds/pseuds/roastedsunflowerseeds
Summary: Tommy found himself by the now crater, numb to the destruction. It was the tenth time he’d come. Whether it was out of mourning or just a morbid sense of obligation, he wasn’t sure.---+ intended sequel to "knock me down when you've built me up" but can be read alone+ this is about their dream smp characters, not the actual people. if any of them are uncomfortable with this kind of thing, i'll take it down+ this is all strictly platonic+ spoilers obviously
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), im sobbing ao3 why arent you showing me the tubbo and tommy tag, this is platonic why would you do this to me
Comments: 2
Kudos: 66





	once is a tragedy

A lot of things had to be earned, Tommy learned. 

Trust, comfort, friendship, power, and more. You had to work for it to get what you wanted, however, he’d been working for so long and he didn’t seem any closer to what he wanted. It was always out of reach, dangling in front of him but he could never get it, never get what he wanted.

There comes a point where nobody is willing to spare you anything, nothing at all. There comes a point where nobody trusts you or cares for you, and Tommy thinks he’s reached that point. It’s lonely, and he’s failed, failed to save L’manberg, failed at everything he’s tried to do. If history is written by the victors, then he’s never picked up a pen.

It’s tiring, too tiring, and he’d rather not admit that he almost needs someone to cry to because it feels like his emotions are bouncing around his chest and begging to be let out like a tightly coiled spring. In fact, he’d rather not admit his weakness at all, it was embarrassing to admit that paranoia was like an old bitter friend at this point. Trust was a pointless and dangerous thing and he was tired of his trust being exploited.

Tommy’s trust was limited and if he were to be completely honest, there was no one he was willing to give it to. Maybe Tubbo. But there was still that something about sharing his feelings that made his stomach turn with anxiety, maybe it was just the fear of being used and hurt, or maybe it was just admitting he was weak because he _was_ weak.

(He remembered Phil telling him that it wasn’t being weak. He thinks he’s lying. He doesn’t know what to trust anymore.)

Tommy found himself by the now crater, numb to the destruction. It was the tenth time he’d come. Whether it was out of mourning or just a morbid sense of obligation, he wasn’t sure. 

He’d like to say that in some different universe, this wouldn’t have happened, they could’ve stopped Techno, Dream, and Phil.

One time is a tragedy.

Two times is a coincidence.  
  
 _Three times is a pattern._

It really was never meant to be. Tommy’s heard that line so many times before he thought he might get sick of it, but at this point, he believed it. It wasn’t fair, but looking out at the destruction, he knew there was no way he could’ve stopped it now. Were he to try and start L’manberg up again, would it be worth _anything_? Would it be worth the inevitable destruction and heartbreak that came with each time?  
  
 _No. No, it wouldn’t._

Tommy liked imagining a world where L’manberg never went to war. Where Dream let them live in peace, where ash didn’t fall on hands and craters didn’t stretch for blocks below. Where Wilbur was alive and well, where Eret never betrayed them, where they could all live in peace.

However it was just a fantasy, it could never be real. Techno would’ve never let a government form, Dream wouldn’t have let them get independence freely, but he doesn’t want to think about that. In this fantasy world, Tommy can imagine everything is okay.

Usually, Tommy likes to live in the present. He doesn’t dwell on the past, only thinking of the now. But he can’t do that anymore, not when the present was so overwhelming and he doesn’t think he can deal with it anymore. He’s lost, and he’s not sure how. There’s just a feeling dragging him down that’s just pure hopelessness because he doesn’t know what to do.

It’s awful, however, he’s long since gotten used to the feeling.

Tommy’s snapped out of his thoughts by Tubbo, who sat next to him. Gone was his suit, instead he was wearing his usual green dress shirt. _Good_ , Tommy thought, _he looked so uncomfortable in that suit._

“Back here again?” Tubbo asked, gazing out. Tommy doesn’t need to respond, they’ve both been here before, not needing to say anything. It’s so quiet but so loud. The silence stretches for what feels like hours to Tommy when it must’ve just been a few minutes.

“It’s not fair, Tubbo.” Tommy finally spoke.

Tubbo seems almost surprised for a moment, just managing a small nod and a bit of breathy laughter, although it sounds hollow and empty in a self-pitying way.

“It’s not.” He agrees, closing his eyes and sighing.  
  
“It’s the third time. It’s not worth it anymore. It’s not fair that we keep on trying just for it all to be destroyed again. It really was never meant to be.”  
  
“You know, I’m starting to get sick of that phrase.” Tubbo joked weakly, Tommy just quietly laughing in response, not loud or brash like usual but more subdued in a sense, and quieter, too.

“Thing is, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Tubbo, I don’t know if it’s worth trying,” Tommy admits, defeated.  
  
There’s silence, painful silence, loud and painful silence, one where Tommy realized he’d started crying quietly, hot tears slipping down his face. 

“L’manberg isn’t worth fighting for,” Tubbo says softly. “But there are things that are, Tommy.”  
  
“But I’m not sure if we can. Can we even win? Is it worth a try?”  
  
Tubbo pulled Tommy up so they were both standing, facing him. “I think so, yeah. I think it’s worth fighting for. I think it’s worth trying. But for now… we can rest.”  
  
Tommy mouths to words to himself, the ghost of a smile on his face. 

If things were poetic, then the sun would’ve been setting into the horizon, baking the skies in oranges and purples. It would’ve shown the two whether they were making the right choice, symbolizing the end of an era in some way or another.

But life doesn’t work like that. It’s a gray, misty mid-afternoon, and it feels like nothing’s changed.

Tommy pulls Tubbo into a hug, letting his tears flow freely with sobs and shaking gasps. 

“I missed you, Tubbo.”  
  
“I missed you too, Tommy.”


End file.
